What I wanted

What I wanted was to get it right the first time. Suck it up, take the hits, get it done and I'm fine. Be encouraged to see it through and put the doubt in the back of my mind but instead I gave in.

What I wanted was to inspire. Be the desire of most and aspire to be better. An every day go getter searching for the next success story. No worry or blame, just Freedom and fame but then I gave in.

What I wanted was to show consistency, bury the demons that's chasing me, run away from complacency and discover the best that's still left in me but I gave in.

What I wanted was not on the agenda. My focus remained on others and what was most important for them. The gem stuck in the middle of their shells, I fell for the trap. And as I wrapped up my portion of the deal I concealed my wants as the taunts of agony churned inside me. Hey its your turn, now I need your help, wait what did you say, you're going away, you'll talk to me soon? A tune I've heard before and as I still wait months later for you to return everyone seems to have your attention. Did I mention that I know you never left? Seasons changed and still I wait. Birthdays, holidays and yup I still wait. Oh I know you're waiting for me to make the first move? Well at this point. I've learned from my past and at last I understand that I come first. The worst part about this is that you believe you will win, but you will need me before I need you and this time I will not give in......