The Fusion of My Passions.....

What's in me.....

2012-01-29T12:01:00.000-05:00

It's going to be hard to put a smile on this face as I look at a cloud of disgrace which forms the silhouette that I traced with my mind. My abstract vision paints pictures in the brightest colors, draws images with the most precise detail and plays music with the sharpest sound so that I see the vibrations of the rhythm and it echo's to my ears to make the sweetest melody. My fingers write the lyrics to the beat of my heart as my feet tap dance the harmonies of the blues....I bleed the love of every genre as I can relate to every song that plays. I cry for the deepest ballads and dance to the drums and the bass of the eclectic sounds that play, but in all that I ache from the sadness that is a life without consistent DJ.

Compensation for the next generation..............

2011-12-30T12:14:00.000-05:00

So I watched Real Sports the other night with my boy Bryant Gumbel and one of his topics was a theory of mine a few years ago. Let's time warp to 2 years ago, when I was watching the documentary about the rise and fall of the UNLV basketball team which included Greg Anthony and "Grandma Ma" Larry Johnson. That documentary showcased the talent of a generation of men who knew that the only way for them to make it in a "square" league was for them to fight until there was no fighting left. Then fast forward to this year when I watched the Fab 5 which was my favorite college team, The Michigan Wolverines, before I became a Duke Blue Devil fanatic, this team also displayed the fight needed to survive as a circle in a square world. Jalen Rose, Chris Webber and the rest of the crew faced adversity, defied the odds and played the best basketball they knew how and for what? Bringing us to present day and back to me watching Bryant Gumbel, this particular topic was based on the deceit and dysfunction of the NCAA. Although the columnist who discovered the story didn't want to make a big deal out of it, I honestly don't believe it is something to just sweep under the rug.

Now I am a firm believer that after entering college and deciding to play D1 basketball each player should be held to committing an entire 4 years to not only the team but also to his academics to ensure that we have more college graduates rather than just star athlete's chasing a dream. However, now I definitely understand the urgency of some of these young men who leave college and enter the draft. These guys are being robbed of their talents. Game in and game out the college players that we watch during the March Madness and The Sweet 16 are the players that are paying the schools mortgages. These schools make millions of dollars in publicity, TV revenues, sales, endorsements and more and the players get nothing. Our young men are being exploited by the people they trust and look up to. The NCAA is just like a minor league so to speak. College games can gross just as much as NBA games or maybe even more on any given night. Yet parents still have to pay tuition for those who don't have scholarships and the school is getting the big bucks for just making them apart of their brand. There is an NCAA charity which accepts donations, to be distributed to each and every school, that has grown to billions and how much of that do our players see. With all of the endorsements and ratings, jersey sales and more, 90% of those proceeds are given to the schools. So why aren't these young men being compensated?

I cried. Yes I cried as I watched this in awe. I cannot believe that those who scout these young talents, tell their families that they are going to make men out of them and give them a better life when they are only out to exploit and use them for their raw talents. Then there are those schools who have the 3rd parties working for them who offer the players incentives just to join the team, but when it is discovered the school turns on that 3rd party because of the illegal solicitation rules. Seriously? Just as fast as the story began was just as fast as it ended. However, they didn't know that there were people like me watching who will not just let it go. I would love for my children to become college athletes and then go on to the pros like so many of my favorite players that I grew up watching, but if it will come at the cost of them being used and exploited I would prefer they tap into their other talents and choose a different path.......

Who really cares about these players?

2011-12-27T16:11:00.000-05:00

This poses a good question. How much do the players care about themselves when day in and day out they take the risk of injuring their bodies for a chance at fame and a pay check. The average NFL player makes about $770,000, yet Football has the most contact and is the most dangerous sport of our elite leagues. You have NBA and MLB players who can sign a contract for $100 million or $254 million, get injured and still receive that money but then you have those NFL players whose job is to use their body to either score or stop the other team from scoring and if injured and you're not a hall of famer or a top ranked player you could lose that money at the drop of a hat or be let go from the team. Where as in the NBA or MLB you are tied to your contract and can be traded yes but under some stipulations you can still be paid what is owed to you as stated in your contract. So I ask you this question; What does this really say about our professional owners and commissioners? How is it that the league that causes the most injuries and damages the most players, pays their players the least amount of money?

The 66 game season.

2011-12-18T16:49:00.003-05:00

So our players are looking forward to a 66 game season which will include spans where they will be playing back-back-back games and 4 games in 5 nights. Due to the extension of the lockout this veteran driven league will now be taken over by the Rookies! Why do I say this you ask? Well when you think about the majority of the top players today; the Kobe's, Garnett's, Amare's, Wade's and Nowvitski's, you know that those guys are accustomed to their 82 game spread season. With this season now being jam packed those older guys will not be able to keep up with the youngings. These new age rookies and newly acquired young players are trained and drilled in keeping up their stamina for overextended periods of time. There have been College games which have gone into 6 overtimes with the major role players contributing the majority of the time on the court. Take a good look at the rookie class that we currently have this year and not to mention the few young teams who are run by predominately young ball players. OKC has the youngest team in the NBA. With new rookie additions we can look forward to hearing a lot about Milwauke, Minnesota, and even Sacramento. With the new CBA threatening to send these young players to the D-League if their performance is not up to par we will see actual blood sweat and tears on the court this year. Everyone wanted the money and now they will have no choice but to work for it! Also let's not forget those who went overseas and had very good seasons. Manu Ginobli, Derron Williams, JR Smith. These guys will be more than prepared to take on those players who just sat around waiting for the lockout to end and the facilities to open. What do you think?

The secret club.......

2011-11-27T00:28:00.000-05:00

NBA, MLB, NFL, MLS, NCAA, it doesn't matter which professional or college sport you watch, once you can go through an entire season of games, YOU'RE A FAN! As fans you become apart of the club. In this club you hate the team/s that rival your favorite team and you feel the pain when one of the key players gets injured. Thus, when you anticipate the upcoming season and have to put your anxiety, and excitement aside because you realize that while they are fighting over the millions of dollars that they all have, they are not thinking about the fact that you are at home gameless. How does that make you feel?

A Failed Destiny

2011-11-27T00:16:00.001-05:00

It's tough writing at the sighting of a nervous break down, when I frown it's best to get a pen cause all of my energy shifts within and brings out BROOKLYN! Brooklyn speaks the truth, despite what the root of the problem is. I'll swallow pain but vomit it, when all the anger hits. As I sit upon the couch my mouth drops open at the notion of me pouring out my heart and soul on a social network. I smirk like a jerk watching a cartoon, and soon I might be animated. Simulated but yet you can call me live, in living color like the brown when you look in my eyes. I realize that my fate is written in concrete stone, unknown to those that want to believe they can make changes in my home. I speak to you as any other trying to ease my mind but what I find is many complicated words between the lines.

A friend or foe so many of them, they don't think I know. Put on a show, moving slow to creep into my door. Their silly though my God cast a spell so I smell the stink of any enemy. I dare the unwise to try and befriend me. I cry from anger, I sweat from pain and I bleed like the pouring rain, I'm a woman, a mother unlike any other. Confused by many fools who haven't discovered. There's a treasure in my heart but no map to lead you to it, I've been through it from hell and back I bet none of you knew it. My life begins and ends with my decision, the details of these tales have been blueprinted with great precision. My X-Ray vision is imprisoned because of synergy, don't give me any BS about the mess about the industry. Give me talk I can relate to, give me talk that we'll debate to. Give me a reason to believe in what is next for me, cause I refuse to be used by the belief of a failed destiny......

A woman reborn

2011-11-27T00:08:00.001-05:00

As everyone sleeps I creep inside my mind to find some solitude beside the screaming memories and frustrated thoughts. I've exhausted my cabinet with so much thinking and pondering, wondering and waundering to the point where there is no where else to hide but in the confusion. Abusing the fusion of my meloncholy and weary ways with my jolly and cheery days I too get exhausted by the tug of war. So I open my shutter doors and adjust my periphial vision, given the urgency of clarity I fight to make a conscious decision. Those screaming memories will now be silenced by optimism, and the criticism lingering amongst the frustrated thoughts will be thrown out with yesterday's indecision. Even while being lost in my mind I still control my own destiny, in spite of those that expected doubt and negativity to get the best of me. I rise from demise, take notes from the wise and pray for those that despise me. Being God's child makes me indestructible, untouchable and I'll be damned if I'm not lovable. Everything I touch turns to gold and if you haven't been told come here and let me whisper it to you. "When it comes to being true, and that's true to me. One thing I found, one thing I found my Lord will never let me down." I now surround myself with greatness and success and stand clear of the rest, because at this moment in my prime I can't be anything other than the best. "The Lord is my Shephard, I shall not want" but my victory will haunt the lives of those who throw stones at my feet! I can make waves in sewer puddles just to hear my name rumble through the streets. Positivity is my new hustle and I'm making a killing, willing to rebuild without banging and drilling. Quietly approaching the fate that my father has designed on my behalf, praying for all sinners that have crossed my path. I've turned over a new leaf without a growing stem or a thorn. This is the testimony of a Woman Reborn!

Unmasked

2011-11-27T00:04:00.000-05:00

I have many untold tales, that unfold trails undiscovered by its creator, what I’ve recovered are the journey’s of a lifetimes memories sitting patiently in a puddle awaiting a visionary who is neutral. The unwise decisions, the many lies imprisoned due to ridicule from the pitied fools who cowardly make them. Notice how people can look at the same photo and see a completely different image, because as they scrimmage through life some things that they look at they still don’t actually see. Now reflecting on me, I don’t have any illusions to unveil, the many demons hanging on my coattail is neither a mirage nor a delusion, they’re the lack of wind pushing my sail towards the final conclusion. You see when I give, it is undocumented; when I take it is reproached. When I show the utmost devotion I’m mocked; yet when I show no interest I’m provoked. As I walk on through this combative path, everyone is left at a stand still; those who wish me well follow in my lead but those who envy shoot to kill.

This manikin who is writing what you’ve read is filled with empty shells; from clips unloaded, c4 I’ve exploded yet I live to give all the details. Blood doesn’t flow until I bleed, or else they’ll be no other way to make you believe that this new found strength I’ve received will eventually make me succeed. The whispers in the dark have been shined upon by the speakers of the light, I am bright or they wouldn’t call me Crystal. I glisten, I glitter, I spark, I flicker, I’m as clear as that sky blue day, see that phoniness that lingers, yes it continuously comes my way, but when I smile I shine, oh yea my cockiness is present because my evanescent conceit is what the phonies try so hard to imitate. I’m loved in abundance, because of my demeanor and I refuse to be ushered into a senior before my time. I can feel a change within me, seeping out to be seen, revealing all of the leeches waiting around to be queen. Be genuine and honest in every aspect as one day your loyalty to your friends and your family will be tested, don’t be arrested by the crumbling of your empire, employ yourself as to the top of the hierarchy, the ambassador, the mighty king; the president, the ruler, not the kid at the bottom of the swing.

As I decipher the encoding on my brain that is reality, all of the digits will form the silhouette of the Supreme Being which is me, be a hero or be a villain that’s your cross to bear but only be what that true mirror image has seen and then you will master your fear. Stop making excuses and pointing fingers, if you live it, you did it, it’s done, whatever has happened can only happen again if you are not the responsible one. Look in my eyes when we speak, hear the roar in my speech and continue to pick me apart, because you’ll be the ass, with the crack in your glass when its leaking like the love in your HEART

True Colors

2011-11-26T23:48:00.000-05:00

I lost something that I never thought I would, should, or could and in return I gained SILENCE. You know they say one mans loss is another mans gain, but why couldn't the Lord refrain from giving me this in an abundance. See I have been writing this now for a few weeks, and as it speaks from my hidden compartments I am embarking on yet another endeavor in life. TRUTH. Truthfully speaking all that we think isn’t until we revisit our belief of what it should be. When we give to get, we get nothing and when we get somehow amnesia kicks in and we forget to give back, all because we lack the proper sense of function….

Stay with me now. We live in so much dysfunction that normal seems unorthodox and crazy is sane, well my brain can’t take this any more than my heart can. What I loss was my fault and so many others continue to remind me of that. In fact their SILENCE echoes blame like the homeless feel shame as they lay on the concrete. I speak from examples, because I have been made one. All those days of being a crusade and willingly donating my time has been lost between the lines of SILENCE….Yet as I continue writing this I am still on my quest to getting back what I lost, although it is probably long gone I am on my own in my search. I have become my own right hand partner since SILENCE has compromised those that should have been. I am talked about with doubt and ridiculed by the cruel who continuously shine their inadequacy. I have taught myself skills and produced talents that thrill yet this doesn’t grant me a pardon, I’ve hardened my skin, taken a few on the chin for some that wouldn’t break a nail in my honor, but this is all a test that I’ve strapped to my chest like the courage of a suicide bomber. Well with the mistakes I’ve made the ratio is 5:1 because I continue to overcome the UNexpected, resurrected from the death that has become of me I see many faces are green. The envy is as rich as the stitching of a designer bag, yet they brag to convince themselves. All of the useless time that is taken should be to reflect on the stones we cast on others, because what you say about one might just be a reflection of you not noticing your own TRUE COLORS……….

SCREAM AT ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!